A Getaway

So that's it...

So that's it... My holiday's over...soon...very soon...too soon...

Today is the last day of the 3-colourful-month break, for me, I mean...(as some people may not have any class tomorrow). What have I been doing during those 3 months ya? Hmmm...Today...I've ended the holiday by staying at home 'till afternoon (I actually planned to read some of the Derivatives stuffs, yet I couldn't stop reading "The Other Man" until the last page); then I met Phina and had a stroll around QV and Lonsdale St.; then I ran into a friend of mine after I'd 'borrowed' the toilet at the church Phina and her sis were attending; then I killed the remaining 30 minutes before the 6 p.m. service by looking at accessories at the Melbourne Central ( you know that kind of looking around without thinking, rite? ;p). Today's service was a bit longer than usual that we left the service earlier (there were 3 of us...yea, I know what you're about to say, he he...). Erwin went straight home as his wife must have been waiting for him, whereas me and the other one ended up having dinner together as I didn't cook today (due to the lazy holiday mood) and he was being nice accompanying me. And here I am now...after waiting for the tram for a while (luckily there were Yulia and Ronald at the La Trobe's tram stop that we used up minutes chatting about this and that).

So that's it? That's it about this big holiday thing? Yea, everything that has a start must have an end. That's the thing with 'starting' something. Indeed I've been through loads of things during those 3 months. And indeed I've posted too little part of it. I think I still owe you a story about Tasmania...yea, I keep putting off that part for I dunno why. I, in fact, had so many things to say when I was still in Tasmania-it was a kind of experience that you'll remember for long, very long... Yet my return here has made me silent and numb.

By the end of this holiday I've lost a job and got another one at the same time.
"That's it!" The same line I uttered as I walked out the resto that Wednesday night (well, it's already Thursday, actually, as I spent a few more minutes inside for taking some pictures, he he, you know me...). Wednesday was my last day at that Thai resto, which, as well, happened to be my first day at the Italian foodcourt. If you ask me how this could possibly happen...I've never imagined it myself. It's Him who holds the whole plan. This is my second job here and I got both of them when I least expected it. I didn't even hand the owners my resume. I actually don't have any resume here, at this moment.

I got the waitress job at the Thai resto from my friend. I was looking for a job that time, but I was (and is) more into administration stuffs. I don't mind doing mailing, or filing, or keying something to a database for hours. But may be I wouldn't learn this much were I to be an admin staff. Long story short, he had already worked there for couple weeks or so that he helped me asked the owner whether they still need a staff (which later I learnt that they always needed new staffs as they couldn't maintain the existing staffs). And there I went, filling in the identity form as well as the schedule when I let myself be employed.

You know I've decided to quit whether I get another job or not. I'd told myself to save more as I didn't know when and where my next sweating step would land. But guess what?! On last Tuesday, the day after our trip to the Yarra Valley Wineries...I got up late (around 11 a.m., yea, you know...it was holiday and I still felt the tiredness from the trip and etc. etc. ;p), then I stuck the charger to my 8250 and I switched it on straight away. It was still on my hand when a call from an unknown number came. It was Mba Aan on the other end. I'd never met her before, but I knew her from Ale. She asked me whether I was still interested in working at the foodcourt where she worked replacing Ale. Indeed I would give it a shot as from what I heard from Ale, the job sounded easier than mine. Nothing to loose, mate... When Ale was still here, I actually had said to her that I would come to that foodcourt someday to post my resume (yea, the resume that I've never written 'till this very minute). As the resume has never been written, the visit has never been undertaken either. I started to think that the job must have been taken by someone else more diligent and determined than me. And I thought, if I had to end up jobless, so be it. Yet I was asked to come at 11 a.m. on the next day (Wednesday) and find Antoinette, the owner. Then I asked Mba Aan back, whether I should hand in my resume or not. She said that the next day would be the so-called training day, a chance for Antoinette to see whether I was capable to do the job or not, i.e. there's no need for such thing as that resume. I was so excited but also afraid at the same time. I hadn't even really got up when I answer the call. When I hung up, I grinned...suddenly I was feeling the love...the love from everyone and certainly from Him, looking back to what happened in the last few hours. Thank you Ale..thank you Mba Aan...

That Wednesday morning...I got up later than I had planned the night before.  I couldn't sleep that night that not until around 3 a.m. I fell asleep. But I managed to be at the foodcourt half an hour earlier than I was supposed to be. I'd never been there before. I just knew where it's about from Ale. As I got off from the tram, I looked for number 600 and I quickly found it. It was like really in front of the tram stop. "Okay, this is number 600," I said to myself, trying to calm my nerves myself, "what I need to do now is to find the foodcourt." I was quite nervous that day, you know that kind of feeling, rite? First day of work...first day of school (like tomorrow...of which I've already sensed the nervous vibes since Saturday night)...all the same...those days which I've always been scared of and hoping nothing more luxurious than a companion. I found the sign with the word foodcourt written on it shortly after I found the number 600. I walked in...didn't know which way I should lead my feet. I only knew that I liked the place. It's an office building. A big and tall one. I kept walking until I saw the end of the hall and there I found the name of the place that Mba Aan mentioned on the phone yesterday morning and yesterday night (when she called for the second time just to remind me of the appointment, how nice of her...). But it's not 11 a.m. yet. So I went to a newspaper agent there, then after a while, I sat at one of the tables from which I could monitor the activities in that cafe. Then I said to God silently, "I like this place, God...I want the job...this is where I wanna be, at the office, surrounded by people in suits, please give me the job." But at the same time, I was also afraid of my own wish. 10.45 a.m. I dragged myself forward to the person standing by the coffee machine and I said that I was looking for Antoinette. Later I found that that person happened to be Antoinette's husband. So, there I was...meeting Antoinette and also Mba Aan for the first time (yea, it's a bit weird, good kind of weird, though :p). Antoinette is a very kind woman with a motherly face. We are treated as human beings there. Antoinette asked Mba Aan to teach me what she usually does everyday. Nothing much uttered from Antoinette herself. I think she was just analysing me from far, as far as the space allows. Yet on that very first day, she told me not to be shy, she told me to make myself be seen by customers-to-be. I was struck by that line. I was suddenly reminded of what my teacher complained to my mom when I was in the first grade. Up to now, not many people I met along the way saying that I was excessively shy, though it may honestly be true. So I confessed to her that I was nervous because that was my first day (I wonder why I was still nervous about working on this kind of job, despite the 6.5-month I spent at the Thai resto). She understood, seemingly, at least... Long story short, tomorrow (erm...today, in fact) is gonna be my 3rd day working there. I dunno how long this will last as I feel I'm still in the probation period. I like the job, so far it is much much less difficult (physically and mentally) than the one I did before. Hmmm...well, I dunno what the future will unfold... We'll see... For the moment, as I realized that I didn't put any work on getting this job, I think I have no right to whine when someday it's taken away from me.

It's 1.07 a.m. already...I'd better get some sleep...though I actually still wanna write bits and pieces of my 6.5-month experience at the Thai resto. I'll write it later, may be tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that...

For now...GIDDY UP, TROOPS!! School's startinggggg... =)

a mixing bowl

I hope it's entirely because I'm being melancholy today.

We had so much fun with our almost-a-day trip, despite the 2-hour sleep I had last night (I was thinking about this and that and I was so afraid that I couldn't get up early that I happened to barely have any sleep at all). There were 7 of us. And we laughed a lot. And we were extremely busy with our own 'roles' inside the car-there were excitement, jokes, whine about school that's about to start (we only allowed this part to be thrown in the air for a brief moment, though), panic about wrong directions and wrong turns . And the next thing we did (with such a deep responsibility) when we parked the car and hopped out was taking pictures... ;p We went to the Yarra Valley Wineries, but it appeared to me that we're more excited in taking pictures than in tasting the wine itself. There's only one line for this  syndrome... "Bloody tourist!!" =)

Yet I felt uneasiness about so many things, all mixed up together, until now...

Anyway...when we're on the road, my boss called me. She'd started to persuade me to do like 2 shifts in a week (instead of quitting) when my 8250's battery was gone. I said to her that I couldn't even do Saturday, which is actually a MUST for us. Ouwww, what should I do? Should I accept it? But if I accept it, when will be the end? There should be an end for this. There is an end for this, it's only a matter of time...how far I wanna stretch the rubber band.

So tired now. Surely will have a gud nite sleep...ZZzzz...

what I learnt...

a man can have pride that's higher than the height of any high places, or even any skies, can be
no doubt about it

Live Life to the Fullest

I got this in an email from my friend at ABN Amro Jakarta. I dunno who wrote this or even from whom she got this. All I know is that it's really worth reading and remembering. This is really gud!!



Don't let go of hope
Hope gives you the strength to keep going
When you feel like giving up

Don't ever quit believing in yourself
As long as you believe you can
You will have reason for trying

Don't let anyone hold your happiness in their hands
Hold it in yours, so it will always be within your reach

Don't measure success or failure by material wealth
But by how you feel
Our feelings determine the richness of our lives

Don't let bad moments overcome you
Be patient
And they will pass

Don't hesitate to reach out for help
We all need it
from time to time

Don't run away from love but towards love
Because it is your deepest joy

Don't wait for what you want to come to you
Go after it with all that you are
Knowing that life will meet you halfway

Don't feel like you've lost
When plans and dreams fall short of your hopes
Anytime you learn something new
About yourself or about life
You have progressed

Don't do anything that takes away
From your self-respect
Feeling good about yourself
Is essential to feeling good about life

Don't ever forget how to laugh
Or be too proud to cry
Or too stubborn to smile

Don't ever forget a friend who truly loves you
As it could be that friend who is true to your needs
Don't ever forget who helped you grow as your need
For more seeds may often re-appear

With all the above live life to its fullest!!!

Whuakkkkk...I'm so scared!!

I've suddennly realized that schooldays are only 11 days away...wait, no, 10 days away!!! It's not even a fortnight!! O my God...

I've just jotted down the list of books for this semester. Four books come up to circa AUD 370 (whhaattt?!?!?!) and I still got one more subject not yet included in that list. I knew that the workload for this semester is gonna be harder and it stretches even more by the end of my course. Yea, shoot me for choosing the 6.25-credit-point subjects that I need to take 5 subjects in each of the next two semesters. But the subject names sound so...interesting, sophisticated, advanced...yea, yea...that surely means advanced efforts are too required.

I've seen the syllabus of the Derivatives subject. That looks interesting and challenging at the same time. WHUAAA...How am I gonna go through this? I'm already comfortable with this "everyday is a holiday" life that I've managed to accustom myself to within the last 3 months. I'm drowning in it, in fact.

I and my friend watched Casanova this afternoon. After the movie, under the I-dunno-what-to-do pressure, both of us thought of having some coffee and sweets, like we did yesterday, and the day before yesterday. Then I thought that it might be better to have an early dinner as well. So we headed for any place outside the Melbourne Central. On our way out, my friend stopped me when he saw the exchange rates board hung inside a money exchange's window. He said that he wanted to see the AUD/IDR rate. Then we discuss about the large "gap" between the sell rate and buy rate. I know that the rule has always been to "buy low sell high". And I know that the large "gap" signs the illiquidity of IDR (not much wonder about this). But I kept on missing the appropriate vocabulary for the word "gap". Only when I was on the tram back home I found that the term's suitable for that context was supposed to be "spread"!! Yea, spread!! Urghhhhhhh...I had a 3-month break and I've been losing my words...And now you're saying that you're having 5 sophisticatedly-named subjects? Well, well, congratsss.. =) Gonna be a tough battle, mate!!

No. 1 checked!! (on the way, at least)

Finally...
Last night I said to my boss that I was quitting in 2-week time. No matter how nice or how bad your boss is, it's always difficult to throw a bad news. There'll never be a good time for bad news. Hmmm...bad news?!?! May be I was "sok iye" to think of it as a bad news =) This may also be what they've longed for for ages!! We've reached a mutual agreement then, if that's the case ^^

I'd asked many people whether I should quit or not before I eventually made my mind, as though it were a tough decision to make. It may actually be, as the job I'm  currently doing is not simply a matter of income to me. It certainly gives me more money which I can spend deliberately on movie, shopping, dine n out, travelling, etc. etc. But it's once worth much more to me. It has been a distraction from checking my email and my mobiles too frequently. It has forced me to be more focused whenever I got time to read things before class. It has been a seri of anger management sessions where your boss(es) can always say something wrong about your work and you're only entitled to say "Yes" or forever hold your peace. It has been a class for socializing. It has been a gym class where you have to walk back and forth for 4 or 5 hours straight until your feet get sore and your calves get stoned, with plates and glasses as your small weights. Even when it's a quiet night, you still need to keep yourselves look busy or you'll get scolded -I wonder whether this is another modern packaging of slavery.

Yea, my friends here must have been very sick and tired listening to me keeping on saying, "I wanna quit my job," everytime the talk about job was brought up. Now their ears can adapt to other boring topics =)

Yesterday was our pay day. I planned to say it right after I got my salary which usually occurs towards the end of our shift. So I only let two of my friends there know that I was about to say it that night. But then, at around 9.30pm or so, my boss said that she's going home earlier that night as she's worked 7 days in a row. Whuaaaaa...that means a premature schedule of my monologue!! I wasn't prepared and I was still training the new guy. After an attempt to delay the whole thing, where I only managed to give myself a few minutes extra, I said, "P...., saya mo brenti." She looked surprised and she asked me why. I said that I was bored with the job, tired, and I'd also have a class on Saturdays. I'd already prepared many reasons to list down as I was also convincing myself about my decision that whole evening. But still, I mumbled a bit. Then she asked whether it's a notice or I wanted it to be effective immediately. "Dua minggu khan?" I asked with regards to the revised forced owner-staffs agreement. So that's that...

I think she'd never thought that I would quit that soon. She knows I'll go back to Indo for good, but that would be after my course finishes. Last Sunday, she even taught me how to operate the cash register when a customer pays with cash, ie. I'm allowed to open the cash register. I didn't really want that privilege, anyway...coz I knew I was leaving. And perhaps among all staffs, I'm one of those who seldom, if not never, argue with the 'mighty' owner when he scolds me. I only said a word one time or twice about the other staffs' performance. So in her mind, I must have been a staff with lesser frictions with anyone elses there that gives no reason for an early exit. The reason why I've been like that is simply because I don't wanna be in a trouble due to talking too much. That always happens in work. If you talk too much, you may someday find your words be used against you. Besides, I didn't see any point of doing that except of making enemies.

Anyway....I'm so relieved that it's about to over. I feel a bit weird when I think of jobless days I'm going through. But it should be fine, I've been there before =)

Complexities - updated Feb 10, 2006

Have you ever thought that you don't own "the time"? Indeed, we are not the owner of "the time". But have you ever calculated how much of 'your' time has been spent doing things you didn't want to? Or did you ever mind counting how many times you've had to choose one activity/event over the other(s) ocurring at the same time? I'm not talking about that long hours spent for studying. It's a MUST, like it or not. And I'm not talking about the unbearable office hours. You have to work to live (is it???). But besides all those compulsory stuffs, what remains is leisure, free time, ie. you're free to do anything you wish. But then again, you do still have to make a choice in your leisure, rite?

I have a day off today. Yes!!! So I said: Today I wanna stay at home and have a lazy day filled with reading and watching TV and eating and perhaps a nice afternoon jog at the park, but I know there's gonna be a free music concert at Sydney Myer Bowl this evening . And at about the same time, there's also a nite market at the Vic mart. Not to mention the calls I received from my friends asking me to go to swim together. There were two of them and I dunno why, out of the blue, they both (with around a 5-hour interval) had an idea to go swimming today. I'm feeling comfortable at my desk right now, with my Tecra and the music, but I can't stand ignoring those events. Am I the one who's being complicated here? Why does all have to be at the same time? And this kind of things always happens. And I know this is not only happening to me. My k used to complain about this too.

Gotta go now. Yea, I've made a choice, under pressure =) Still not sure where I'm going. Yet staying at home is not a choice this time, unfortunately.

Do you know where my footsteps finally ended up? BOTH!! =)

Yea, I met Leli and Ale at Vic mart. They planned to take away some food and have it while enjoying the orchestra. So it''s gonna be a quick deal. But then, we had a nibble or two, or more ^^, of various kinds of food from all over the world (ermmm..can I say that? am I exaggerating? wwaittt....I'm counting....yup, there were at least 20 booths with each offering a unique taste, from South African things-I don't remember the name-to Japanese okonomiyaki to Australian emmu, crocodile, and kangoroo burger). That's the fantastic thing about summer here. I'd have forgotten how excited I was last year if I hadn't went there on that Wed. My mom and dad must remember (well, okay, my bros and sis may remember it as well) that I was the one who got very excited the most when our school held a bazaar. I was (I am, in fact) terrible with games so I'd prefer to spend the coupon my dad bought me on foods. And I sometimes hung around the booth of my bros and their friends, or of my sis and her friends. "Now I come to a huge bazaar!! How exciting!!" I shout in silence. I went to that nite market 3 or 4 times last year. Yet I almost let them disappear in front of my eyes this year. Who else can I blame for all these social events destruction? Yes, you got it right!! Thank God I made a right choice that afternoon considering this summer the nite market is merrier than last year and I might not be able to come to any of those Weds next summer. Well done!!

We headed for the free concert afterwards. We were late about 1 hour. So it was breaktime when we arrived there. But we got a nice spot, right in front of the stage. There were 7 of us, me, Leli, Ale, Pei Fun and her friends.

And it must be true that, although we didn't literally utter it, we had a sense of proud seeing the banner with "The University of Melbourne" on it.

It was a nice evening, afterall...

catching up

Eversince I stepped my foot back in Melb, time has been fleeting. What have I been doing ya? It's already Thursday now!! Let's see...

Sunday (Jan 29) : Got up late... around 12pm, I guess... =) Very tired, stiffness were still conquering the whole body. But I was glad =) that finally I could get up from my own bed and take a shower in my own bathroom, which are certainly clean, my friends... ;p Did the laundry (believe me, it's massive!!! and still got piles of it now). If it hadn't been because of the laundry and the promise I'd made to myself that I'd go to the church this week, my sleep would have lasted till very late in the evening. Still got a chance to chat with my mom, dad, and sis. Gong Xi! Gong Xi! It was another hot afternoon, by the way. And at around 4:30 I've already packed myself up to my friend's. We're gonna have dinner together, 3 of us, or may be up to 5. I missed the barongsai thing, again, because of the laundry. I was part of the crowd on Russel St., though. Only for a while, killing time before the service. Then I went to the 6pm service, a bit late. I was asked to help serving the communion, the thing I've never done before, because they need one more person. And all of us who served that evening ended up having dinner together. So the 3 grew up to 8.

Monday (Jan 30) :  Woke up late...again...around 10am, if I'm not mistaken. "This entire day belongs to me," I said to myself. Thanks to the generous working schedule. So I got a lazy getting-up effort. Transferred hundreds of pics from Canon to Tecra while checking and replying mails. After having a late lunch, or an early dinner actually, I laid on my bed...watching whatever or whoever moving on the TV screen while thinking whether I, this time, really would enjoy the beautiful afternoon by jogging around my place or not. But I couldn't resist the temptation of comfy pillows I stack on my bed. It was around 8:30pm already when I was out of that 'tough indecisive contemplation'. 

-->not only me who reckon this amazing, rite?

And if it hadn't been because of the remarkable sunset sky, I wouldn't have got up from my bed that quickly. Yea....I was so lazy that day. Did nothing till very late, except sitting at my desk, resizing and sending some pics of Tasmania to my fam and my k, and chatting.

Tuesday (Jan 31) : Got up early (phuihh...such an achievement!!) as I don't wanna miss Keanu's class. Hehehe...me and Phina agreed that our (oops!! I mean Phina's) German Marketing Management lecturer got eyes that look like Keanu's ^^ Besides, he always gives marketing-related examples that turn out to be hillarious. Like the story of him and his first date with an American girl and his carS that were stolen few times in States. Or the one that jumped from "the breadth, length, and depth of the product mix" topic, to the 4 bottles of shampoo (including the one with the "Dead Sea Algae Extract") that one day he found in his shower (bearing in mind that there're only him and his wife and their little daughter in their place), and finally jumped to a tip to maintain a relationship such as "Good hairdo today!". Anyway... I spent half an hour in the computer lab after class, where I, surprisingly, met the friend's sis. It felt like it had been years I didn't meet her or think about the friend. Anyway... me and Phina caught up the 2:15pm show of Munich (it was quite a good longgg movie) as I needed to go back to my place, picking up my uniform and shoes, before starting my shift at 6:30pm. Long story short, I managed to start my shift on time! Yippy yea!!!

Wednesday (Feb 1) : At first, I thought I only had an appointment with Phina today. We're going to the gym in her apartment. But then, my boss asked me to come at 12:30pm for the lunchtime-shift. So I moved the gym schedule from 1pm to after-3pm. I thought it's gonna be alright, I'd still got plenty of time. Then suddenly Leli called me at around 11am and told me that we're meeting at around 6 or 7pm for photo-transferring 'session'. Shit, I forgot that one! That means I need to re-arrange today's schedule. So it's supposed to look like this...12:30-3:00 working, 4:00-6:00 gym, and 7:00-no idea fixing up the scattered pics. Now here I am, in front of my laptop again. Everything ran almost as smoothly as it's planned, thanks to Yarratram! hahahahaha... And the 'errand' ended around 10pm. Yea, we (me, Leli, and Ary) had a great time with our pics in Tassie, including a discussion about the spooky story of the Tasman House, the discussion that we've tried to avoid since that night, hahaha...

It's time to sleep now. Going to Keanu's class again tom.